This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
