There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
