worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
