My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
