am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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