I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
