So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
