i just google imaged poop.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
