the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
vagina is talking i cant
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
