hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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