just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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