my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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