yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
