So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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