I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
