Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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