when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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