that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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