thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
