You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dick very happy bro
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
