big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
