The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
