I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im six kinds of drunk right now
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
