New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
