He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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