i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
