i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
