Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
