I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
