oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
