Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
