why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
