he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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