DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
