you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
