It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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