I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
