Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
