is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
