You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
These tits shall not be calmed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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