I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
