got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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