Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
