I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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