the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
