Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
