so explain again why im purple
no
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
