Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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