i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
