i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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