i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
