I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nutella sex= disaster
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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