You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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